i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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