I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
