someone get that fucking seahorse.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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