the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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