If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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