you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
