I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
