I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
