I should be sponsored by Trojan
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You left your phone here
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