Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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