we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
