bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A+ Viking dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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