Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
