Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
