Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
