You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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