ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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