Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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