Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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