you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
