I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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