Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
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This show inspires me to have sex in space
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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