Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just had sex bonerless
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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