so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my shit smells like andre
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
