He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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