I think my vagina is haunted
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
