I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
