Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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