I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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