please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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