i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..