No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
high people should be assigned attendants
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?