True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...