Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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