Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
