I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's rum buckets o'clock
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
