I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
