David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
