HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
