would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
