That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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