why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
