Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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