ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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