goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
