I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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