you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
