I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
