What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
