then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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