Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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