he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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