i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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