Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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