please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
