i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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