i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
