You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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