I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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