Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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