we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
