Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
not ubering you a puppy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
