i just google imaged poop.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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