Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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