it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
