I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
