I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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